Ahhh....the world didn't end and other mumbo jumbo

So, life remains extremely busy for us at Casa Loco, or Fetzig Haus.  My job has me traveling from time to time.  Things are never easy it seems, not for anyone.  We've had to make some hard decisions during the past year.  I foresee more in the future.  I am always very thankful for the quite moments SGG and I have to reflect on our lessons learned and always looking and dreaming forward.

Dreams, as it turns out, don't happen effortlessly.  They require quite a bit of energy to materialize and to keep going.  Sometimes they don't turn out quite like you wanted, and often you realize how very thankful you are that they didn't.  We had two children this past year that went to live with their respective other biological parents.  We had not planned on that, but given the circumstances in both cases it seemed like the best decision for them to grow and move forward.  In both cases it appears so far that we made the best decision as both boys are doing very well.

Brandon will be 16 in May and has been living with his mom and step-dad since June.  He is working on getting his driver's license.  He completed his classroom work in the fall and yesterday, New Years Eve, he started his actual behind the wheel training.  His grades could always be better, but he is really maturing and doing so very well in everything else.  He has been playing soccer for his school and is looking forward to playing golf and baseball in the spring.

Michael just turned 14 in October.  He is now 6'4" and still growing.  He is living with his dad in Long Island.  He rides the train into Manhattan to see his dad on Wall Street and seems very savvy about moving around New York City.  He is going to the same middle school his dad went to, and may even go to the same high school.  He played football for the school this year and is playing basketball right now, go figure.  :-)

John will be 13 in just a few days.  He lives with SGG and I.  He plays cello for his middle school, and piano when he feels like it.  He is trying to teach himself guitar too.  He played baseball in the fall and will likely play in the spring too.

For SGG and I, our big news is that we acted on our dream and purchased a small house up in the mountains in western Virginia.  The beach area is nice, but we love the hills and mountains.  The house will probably be where we retire to as well.  I was trying to think about how to describe that adventure and whether to detail those stories here or in another blog.  I decided that we would start another blog dedicated to the adventures or misadventures we have in the mountains, and keep this one here about parenting, marriage, etc...though I don't really write a lot here anymore.  :-(

Monroe Mountain House Blog

Life Decisions...

...made here.

Everyday SGG and I wake up, make some coffee (Cafe Verona unless she has found a better "deal" which never tastes as good), and then sit in these two chairs.  We hold hands, drink coffee, watch the sun come up and the world come to life.  The boys aren't up, but the animals have been fed.  The dog runs around the yard, patrolling for intruders and that the cat sits on the sills squeaking at the birds.  We sit here and we talk about our day coming up, our week, our future.  On Sundays, SGG scours the paper for coupons and we talk about what we are going to eat that week too.  Every day we have 30 minutes to an hour to ourselves to talk about anything and everything.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Some life decisions that have been made lately...
We made the decision to take a job in Richmond in April and move there, but after four weeks of working there I ran into unresolvable issues and decided to quit that job and not move.  So we are still in Virginia Beach.  I took a job working for a Navy command that does vulnerability assessment testing for all new Navy programs (with my previous employer) and I believe that is going to work out very well.  The only real problem has been that we had to get caught up on testing and that put my co-worker and I on the road in California and Hawaii for a month.  More about that in the next post (coming soon I swear).

With the job transition and transition back, we made some other rather big decisions.  My son did ok in our public school here for his first year in High School.  He didn't do great though, and he certainly didn't take full advantage of the opportunities he had.  The school has over 2000 students in it and can be a bit daunting.  During the decision to move to Richmond, a new place for all of us and a move to a new school with 2000+ students, we had to make a decision about my son's future.  His mom really wanted him to come down and live with her and her husband.  His mom works at a private school and he would go to school there.  He has a large network of friends down there already because he spends the summers there.  The teachers aren't as connected to the parents in the public high schools, but with his mom, the teachers work with her at the school.  I talked to the school and went through their curriculum.  My new job also involves some travel for the first time, which Brandon never responds well to.  The end result is that SGG and I believe that Brandon moving down to be with his mom and in a smaller school would be best for Brandon and his future.  So far that looks like the right decision, but it is still very early.  He has a lot of good friends and had a great summer.  He has already started school there and had a great first week.  He is also playing on the school's soccer team.  Helping him get his stuff together to move to his mom's was very difficult and very emotional.  Much more so than I was anticipating.

Earlier in the year, Christmas/New Years to be exact, SGG and her ex-husband made the decision to have the middle child (her eldest) move to NYC to be with his dad.  There were a number of factors going into the decision that I won't go into, but he seems to be doing well up there.  He is also 6'4" tall, still growing, and not quite 14.

That means that starting the school year here, Labor Day basically in VA, we only have one child with us.  It is certainly going to be  a different year.

Fortunately, the other two boys are not all that far away.  I also spend a LOT of time on Google+ now and the Hangout feature there is great for video conferencing with the boys...when I can get them to use it.  :-)

We have also been replacing the carpet in the house with laminate hardwood type flooring.  I got two bedrooms and a hallway done before I had to leave for the month for work.

Leaving you with these two shots from my trip...will do the write ups later:

San Diego Skyline on my last night in California

Pt Mugu - 8 hrs of driving for a 1 hour meeting....

Six days in Hawaii and we only got about 6 hrs to explore the island....this is from the Pali Pass...

Delicious juice drink I found in CA...

Hello world....

Hello World.  It has been a while since I have logged back into blogger and quite a bit has changed.  We've been quite busy with some good things, and some not as good things.  I wish I could say that we had solved most of the problems in the world but that would not be the case.  Mostly we have just been getting by, happy to just deal with the day to day ups and downs of every day life in a mixed family home. 

The big news is that I have decided to take another job.  This one is a private sector job in Richmond, VA.  After some interviews last summer I realized that I was stagnating were I was.  I was dug into my work and I hadn't realized what was happening.  In March, a number of strange and unintended events had the net effect of my company losing the contract with the military command we were at, and the government scrambling to get us back.  That took some time.  There were several of us that were temporarily displaced, and we came together as a team to win the work back or find other work.  We are all adeptly skilled in doing network vulnerability assessments and security engineering.  We quickly realized that we had no idea that there were so many opportunities all around us.  We even picked up and did a small penetration test for a commercial company as a side job as 1099 self contractors.  In the end I had to make a choice between three jobs...staying on as a government contractor, going to a government civilian position, or taking a job back in the commercial sector with the regional power company helping them to protect their networks.  SGG and I discussed it at length and we went with the third option for a variety of reasons that will become more clear in the coming months.  We are very excited about the opportunities that surround this position and the move to Richmond.

Also, I write a lot more on Google+ now, but it is almost all about network security stuff.  There are some funny stories I need to post when I get some time...things like the dog chasing a squirrel into the house one day and the chaos that ensued.  There are the ongoing chronicles of the boy that won't do his homework, and so forth.  :-)

Censored - Easier to stop it before it happens than after....

amalgamation...

"Kindly let me help you or you will drown," said the monkey, putting the fish safely up a tree. (Alan Watts)

What is the right thing for one person is not necessarily the right thing for another.  No special reason for posting this thought other than I heard it today from a friend and I've been doing a great deal of listening and reading of Alan Watts material.  If you want to think about something other than the day to day grind of things I highly recommend you try listening to or reading Alan Watts.  The material is centered around Buddhist and Taoist philosophy.

 I've been using Google+ for a few months now and I really like it.  It does bring up some interesting quandaries about identity and anonymity.  I certainly think a lot more about what I write and where I write it. 

Back in June I said I went on a secret mission.  It wasn't really secret, I just wasn't sure what to say about it at that point.  The gist of it was that I went to California to go on an interview.  I am pretty happy with my current job, but sometimes an opportunity comes up that you just have to follow through on.  This was one of those.  I love California, especially around Monterey and San Francisco.  The company flew me out and paid for my expenses.  I spent the weekend there and had the interview on Monday, the day after Father's day. 

On Father's Day I went to the Computer History Museum in Mountain View, CA, which was amazing.  I drove up and crossed the Golden Gate Bridge, then went on a hike up the hill on the other side to get some great shots of the bridge and San Francisco.  I was invited by a long time blog friend to spend Father's day afternoon with their new family and extended family.  It was a great time.  I got to meet and talk with a lot of amazing people that have done amazing things with their lives.  They have the coolest fire pit I've ever seen, and there are red wood trees growing in their back yard!  It was the best Father's Day I could have had having to be away from home.  Computers, hiking, and wonderful people.  I really wish SGG could have come out with me, it would have been just perfect then.

Alas, I did not get offered the job.  They were definitely looking for someone with a computer software development background, and that isn't what I do at all.  :-)

So all the boys are back , no more earthquakes or hurricanes (I hope).  My son Brandon is now in 9th grade, his first year of high school.  He seems like he is really liking it so far.  Michael, the middle one, is in 7th grade and is now about 6'1" tall....he will be 13 years old this month.  John, the youngest, is in 6th grade and is in his first year of middle school.  Two of the boys are playing baseball, and the other is writing computer code.  There is always something happening, and SGG has a giant calendar up on the wall to keep track of it all.

The dog has now gotten two squirrels.  The first was a baby that was already dead and had been washed out by the hurricane.  The second he got today, but we sort of saved it before he killed it.  No telling if the squirrel will make it, but it did manage to get back up the tree.

We did manage to paint the shed over the summer, and we have a new driveway being put in this week...we think, and the garage door will be replaced soon.  I've had to take the current door apart once to get it back into working shape until the new door gets here.  I get to do a lot of little projects around the house, like fixing doors, painting, and keeping the lawn mower running.  I had to replace the carburetor on the mower this weekend...I'm pretty sure there is a piece of dirt stuck in the fuel line inside the thing, but I couldn't get it out.

We had our first day of cooler weather today too.  I am very glad it is finally here.  It snowed in WV yesterday....and that means snowboarding season is not far away!  :-)

Dogs, Earthquakes, and Hurricanes.....

So, so much to catch up on....life is pretty crazy and when it isn't SGG and I collapse.

Did I say crazy?  Because in the insanity we got a dog.  His name is Blaze (Blaze-O, Blazer) and he is part Border Collie and part Black Lab.  He is a year old and we got him from the SPCA.  SGG said he looked adorable, I said he looked mischievous, I was right.

The dog is a very smart, energetic and lovable dog.  The dog is very energetic.  Did I mention he was energetic?  The dog also doesn't come when called.  That means that when he gets out we have a neighborhood meeting and everyone has to get involved.  There is a lot of running and eventually the dog gets tired of the game.  He'll stop when he wants to check out someone else's dog.  I've even met people with other "problem" dogs.  They taught me to accept the fact that one day I will be picking up the pup at the pound.

I finally found all the holes in the fence too.  I finally had to tie 100' of rope to the dog and let him show me his final escape route.  And he did.

Dog and Cat can almost cohabitate in the same room without the cat puffing out and hissing herself to death.

The dog is from Narnia by the way.  When he doesn't know I'm looking, he gets up on his hind legs by the bushes and tries to walk along them to see the birds in them.  

So Tuesday afternoon (8/23/11) I was in the middle of a conversation in the hallway at work when I had to stop ask "Are we moving?  Is this an earthquake?"  Sure enough.  It was the first one I can remember feeling.  The epicenter was about 150 or so miles away in Mineral, VA.  Magnitude was 5.8.

Then we hear that Hurricane Irene is coming.  So we packed up kids and dog and headed to see my friend in Blacksburg, VA...which is where we are now.  We plan on doing some hiking and probably heading back Sunday depending on damage assessments/power/etc.  As of the time of this writing, the storm has been downgraded to a Category I and is supposed to pass by off shore with only tropical storm winds and rain where we live.

Kids are gone so what are the parents doing???

The younger two children just got on a plane to see their father for a couple of weeks.  The oldest left over a week ago to see his mom for the summer.

I went on a secret mission to California, more on that later.

So what are the parents doing?  We went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant, sat outside, and had a margarita.  When we came back home, we retired to the.....computer room.  We started talking a little bit about music, and had a very brief discussion about the song "Sugar Sugar".  Since most of my Beatles knowledge comes from a song in the early 80's called "Beatles' Medley" from Stars on 45, I was insistent that "Sugar Sugar" was a Beatles's song, SGG said it was not and was actually sung by the comic book group "The Archies" .  "Beatles' Medley" opens with "Sugar Sugar".  I was wrong.  My wife has extensive knowledge of the Beatles, and just about all music from the 60's and 70's.  She is ABSOLUTELY never wrong about any music questions from that era.  It would appear that I am ALWAYS incorrect though.  You would be amazed at the amount I think I know but don't about that era.  She laughs at me all the time about it, and it really cracks me up too.  However, we spent an hour on YouTube and Amazon mp3 playing and singing songs from the 60's, 70's, and 80's and had a blast doing so.

Now, when it comes to 80's music, I usually have the upper hand.  My loss I suppose for not having older siblings to show me the ropes.  :-)

I hope your summer is off to as great a start as ours is.

The weather is warm with just enough rain.  Softball is almost over for me and volleyball is just beginning.  We expect to listen to a lot of music this year and get out more.  NO MOVING HOUSEHOLD GOODS....mostly....maybe...

12 Week Body Transformation Challenge.....

I was trying to get some other posts in before this, but I just haven't made the time and this is now...so here it goes.

When I joined the Anytime Fitness Gym just down the street back in January, they hit me up to participate in a 12 Week Body Transformation Challenge.  At the end we have to submit an essay.  The end is tomorrow, Saturday May 7, 2011.  So here is my essay....

Total Body Transformation Challenge Essay

I have struggled with weight gain and loss for the past 15 years.  My self image is one of fitness and my preferred activities in hiking, surfing, snowboarding, volleyball, soccer, softball, and much more outwardly shows this inward view.  However, my combination of poor food choices and inconsistent exercise tend to keep me in a constant state of fat gain and poor physical condition.  As I have aged it has become more difficult to pursue the activities that I really enjoy, and I am much more aware that visceral fat around my internal organs can have a significant impact on my health and my lifestyle.  It is also very unappealing visually and makes me very self conscious about my appearance in public.

I have participated in various exercise and fitness programs in the past with varying degrees of commitment.  Anytime Fitness seemed to me the ideal place to start yet another round with Body For Life.  The Body for Life program is a great combination of weight training, cardiovascular exercise, and diet, but I never seem to be able to commit to it long term.  When I started my exercising at Anytime Fitness, the USA Elite Trainers approached me about participating in the Total Body Transformation Challenge.  I was reluctant because I felt like I knew a lot about exercising, was highly self-motivated, and couldn't really see where it would help me or was different from what I was already doing.  I declined the invitation, but I kept thinking about it.  A few things made me reconsider though.  First, I had never worked with a trainer of any type before aside from my Body For Life book and logs.  Second, I had never worked on a physical fitness goal as a team or in competition before.  When I put some serious thought into this I realized that I was pushing aside something that could be a very valuable experience, and I couldn't have been more right about that.

First I want to tell you about how the trainers and the program helped me.  Right from the beginning I was surprised at how much information they were collecting about my current body fat content and shape.  I was not ready for that, and I seriously was not interested in knowing those things.  Who wants to be shown infallible evidence of past failures?  When we got our booklets and started reviewing the nutrition/diet guides, I was really surprised at how little I had ever paid attention to calories, fat, protein, sodium, and carbohydrates.  Other programs hide this information or concentrate strictly on protein or carbohydrates.  I am a person that likes math and seeing the differences in Basic Metabolic Rates and how all of the nutrition information relates to that was a very enlightening moment.  While I was familiar with the 5-6 meals a day plans and other parts of the guide, I just hadn't ever had it laid out and explained with all the relationships like this before.  Immediately I was glad I had joined the program.  I have been very impressed with how much the trainers really got involved with us too.  It hasn't always been easy to like them when they are pushing us past our comfort zones during our weekly workout sessions, but I wouldn't have accomplished so much without their expert knowledge and constant encouragement.  I think it is important to note that even though you may know a lot about fitness, having an expert trainer that can observe and guide you can help you achieve so much more than you can by yourself.  As humans, we just are not all that good at self assessment, even though most of us are convinced we are.

Secondly, I want to tell you about my co-challengers and how the team/competition aspect has helped me achieve my goals.  I am a competitor, and if we are truthful with ourselves, most of us are.  From the moment I began the competition I felt a heightened sense of urgency with my workouts and their intensity.  Going to the gym everyday was already something I did, but I pushed every workout a little harder knowing that there were others that were doing the same.  As we started our weekly workouts and I started seeing my co-challengers at the gym, I began to get a lot of encouragement by their presence and our conversations.  I could see them putting forth tremendous effort everyday and it helped me to keep up that level of intensity in my own workouts.  During the challenge, I pulled a calf muscle, locked up my lower back, experienced some extreme fatigue and stress, and at times just felt too tired to make it to the gym.  Any one of these items would have derailed my program by a couple of weeks or months in the past.  Knowing that my co-challengers were going to be at the gym really helped me find the energy and the motivation to keep going back and doing everything I possibly could.  Talking about the diet and problems sticking to the numbers with my teammates also helped me to understand that this wasn't easy for anyone, and if they could stick with it so could I.  It has been fantastic to see the physical and emotional changes in each of the participants.  I can see that everyone that has made it this far has accomplished a tremendous amount and it shows outwardly and inwardly.  I love coming to the gym knowing that some of them will be there, working hard, and enjoying the results.  Rather than a competition, it feels much more like a team effort.

In conclusion, the Total Body Transformation Challenge has been a life altering experience for me.  I believe that I am in about the best physical shape I have ever been in.  I believe that what I have learned about nutrition I will continue to apply throughout the rest of my life, and hopefully it will continue to have a positive impact.  I hope I can impart these lessons and knowledge to my children so that they do not have to go through all that I have been through.  I now have to turn and look forward to some new goals and challenges because accomplishing something I did not think was possible at this point in my life has shown me that there is so much more that I can accomplish with the help, support, and encouragement from my family, my trainers, and my teammates.

Just something to think about....

I want to do a little exercise, a sort of mental visualization, for something I have been thinking of lately. Some may recognize certain world views or religions caught up in it, but for now it is simply just a way of looking at the world around us and not tied to any type of metaphysical, philosophical, or religious view point. It is just me making some observations about the macro and micro universes, talking about molecules and planets, and some general physical traits of the Universe itself. A little crazy and fantastical but I think it is worth it and you are welcome to read on if you wish have something kind of cool to think about.

There was a moment when the Universe came into being. I'm not going to expound on how or anything, it doesn't really matter. All that really matters is right now, for instance, and that there is in fact a Universe. We know through science at school that the Universe obeys certain laws and that the bigger things in the Universe are made up of smaller things. If we start at the galactic level, we know that the galaxy is made of stars, planets, dust, and other forms of large quantities of matter. Some of these things are found in loose systems called solar systems, some are not. As we narrow down to our experience we know that Solar Systems are comprised of planets, moons, asteroids, dust, comets, etc and generally are gravitationally tied to a central star or stars. Planets are large accumulations of matter in the form of molecules, atoms, protons, neutrons, electrons, and so forth. Right now, we believe that the smallest particle, the one that makes up the rest of them, is the theoretical Higgs-Boson that the Large Hadron Collider is trying to find. There are different levels of energy of these various forms of matter, and based on the energy level (temperature/vibration if you will), this matter exists in what we call states of matter. Solid, Liquid, Gas, Plasma, and a very cold condensate form very close to absolute zero.

One of the laws that we learn is that matter can neither be created nor destroyed. It can change form, state, etc, but it cannot be and then not be. We can change a lot about something, but we cannot really destroy it. Those atoms and sub-atomic particles will always be here.

Another theory about matter is the interconnectedness of it all. What makes up gravity? Why is matter gravitationally attracted to other matter? One theory is that all matter is connected through strings. As particles come together to form elements or atoms, as atoms form molecules, as molecules form larger structures, they are somehow all connected to all other matter in the Universe, and this has always been this way. If they are all connected through strings, then think for a moment about how all of these particles come together and form a human or any other form of life (or even inanimate objects), and how the weaving of those strings together might look.

If that is the case, then the atoms that make up the molecules, that make up the cells, that make up the tissues, that make up the organs, that make up our bodies are also all connected in some way. Now, also think about the fact that these sub-components that make up a human body have been around since the beginning. When the system that supports life breaks down, then those atoms and molecules get reabsorbed into the environment. The strings that were woven together become undone and get woven into other structures in various forms.

As we go from the macro view of the whole Universe, all the way down to the Higgs-Boson particle, we see that at some levels everything looks organized and controlled. At other levels, everything looks chaotic. These strings vibrate throughout the Universe. We know that vibrations and harmonies can be beautiful and fantastic. We also know that sometimes a certain frequency hits a harmonic interval, that can cause things to become chaotic and unraveled.

Just something to think about. I'll write more later about why I am doing this and what led me to lead you on this exercise.

It's all about the kids....

Trying to get caught up a little bit.  This post is really about our winter months and what things look like with the kids.....so I'm going back in time    to      January          2011............

It isn't really all about the kids, but at times it feels like it.

All three boys were playing winter sports this year.  Two different basketball leagues, and one middle school wrestling.  Also, my son is going to school out of district so SGG has an almost 60 minute commute in the morning to get Brandon to school and then get to work (they are in opposite directions).  In the afternoons, I leave work around 3pm to pick him up, which adds almost an hour on to my commute.

One of the boys was in Boy Scouts, sort of, and the other finishing up Cub Scouts.  So some scouting, practices all on different nights of the week.  I am sure the neighbors thought we were like birds flying back and forth to take chicks to places and constantly bringing them food.  Beginning in February I started the Body Transformation Challenge, so my days started around 4:30-4:44am and ended after 10pm.

The shorter and colder days mean less time in the sun  for the boys, and they start to get a little cranky about that.

The boys can really eat too.  They are all growing, and tend to stay hungry.  The real problem is that only one is truly in his teens...so it only gets worse from here.  Soon we will see how truly ravenous teenage boys can be.